Storybrooke Calendar
by karithekarbear
Summary: Emma accidentally gives the wrong flash drive to the printers. Regina is not happy. Rated M for later chapters. SQ pairing. Other pairings will appear but not the focus.
1. Snow's POV

**Snow's POV**

I got home from shopping and headed up the stairs to my apartment. As I set my groceries down so I could unlock the door, I noticed a large, thin package laying on the floor. "Hm, I wonder what this is?" I mused.

Picking it up, I saw it was addressed to myself and Charming, so I tucked it under my arm before unlocking the door, picking up the groceries and going inside. As I kicked the door closed behind me, I called out to my husband.

"Charming! Come help me with the groceries please! And there's a package for us!" "Be right there, sweetie," he replied. I set the groceries on the counter, tossed the package onto the table, then began putting things away.

Charming came out of the bedroom, wrapped an arm around me, and kissed me on the cheek. "Hey, beautiful. How was your shopping trip?" "Productive," I answered, pecking him on the lips before continuing to put away groceries. "So who's the package from?" Charming asked.

"No idea. We can open it in a minute. Would you put these in the fridge, please?" I asked, handing him a carton of eggs and a gallon of milk. "You got it," he replied, taking them from me. Once everything was put away, we turned our attention to the package on the table.

I picked it up, looking for a return address. "Storybrooke Printers?" Charming said curiously. "What did we order from there?" "We didn't order any - wait! Maybe it's the new calendar!" I said excitedly, tearing the package open and pulling the item out. "It is!" I squealed. "Oh, I'm so excited!" Charming exclaimed. We both sat down to examine the new calendar.

The front was a stunning picture of the Storybrooke clock tower, with the sun setting behind it. "Oh, that's beautiful. I wonder who took that picture?" I mused. "Maybe there's picture credits in the back of it," Charming said. "Maybe," I agreed. "Let's look at the inside." I opened the calendar to the first month, and was met with a picture of Regina in lacy black lingerie that barely covered her.

"PORN!" I shrieked, throwing the calendar across the room and covering my eyes. "Oh my God, I never wanted to see that!" Charming shouted. "I'm going to faint," I whimpered before blacking out.


	2. Regina's POV

**Regina's POV**

I dropped Henry off at home and headed back to my office to get a little more paperwork done. I decided to walk since the weather was fairly nice, and it wasn't that long of a walk; I passed by Granny's diner and gave a small smile to Ruby when I saw her outside. She smiled back and I continued on my way, but whirled back around when I heard a "wolf whistle".

Ruby was wiping down a table and trying too hard to look busy. "Did - did you just whistle at me?" I asked, completely bewildered as to why she would do so. Ruby looked up, feigning surprise. "Me? No," she laughed nervously. I could tell I wasn't going to get a confession out of her so I just replied, "Okay," before turning around and heading off again.

I walked half a block before running into Leroy, who looked me up and down and said, "Your Majesty," with a wink, and continued on his way. I shook my head, telling myself he was probably just drunk, and kept walking. When I ran into Archie, whose eyes kept wandering to my chest, I lost it.

"What the hell is up with this town today?!" I yelled. Archie looked startled and said, "What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow. "What do I mean? I mean what the hell is up with this town today! First Ruby whistles at me, then Leroy calls me "Your Majesty" and winks, and now _you _won't stop staring at my chest!"

Archie flushed and looked at the ground. "You - uh - you mean you haven't seen it yet?" he stuttered. "Seen what?!" I exclaimed. "The - uh - the new calendar?" My eyebrows pulled together and I frowned in confusion. "The Storybrooke residents calendar? What does that have to do with anything?"

Archie looked nervous now, and he didn't answer. "Well?!" I was getting impatient - I wanted to know why people were acting so strangely. "Oh, dear," Archie mumbled. He pulled something out of his pocket, unfolded it, and held it out to me. I took it, seeing that it was the new calendar. The front looked innocent enough, a lovely picture of the clock tower at sunset.

"Open it," Archie said apprehensively. I turned to the first month, and nearly dropped the calendar in surprise. The picture was of me, one Emma had taken when she got me a lingerie set for Valentine's Day the year before. "What the-" "They're all like that," Archie whispered. "I'm going to kill Emma!" I growled. "I'm taking this," I said over my shoulder as I started toward the Sheriff's station.


	3. Emma's POV

**Emma's POV**

I had just finished lunch and was getting ready to start in on some paperwork when I heard the front door bang open. "Miss Swan!" Regina yelled. I cringed, knowing I had done something to piss her off. But what? I couldn't think of anything, but it was obviously bad because she was now glaring daggers at me from the doorway of my office.

"Hey babe, what's up?" Regina just kept glaring at me, which made me squirm in my seat. "Okay, what did I do now?" I asked. She stalked toward me and smacked me in the head with something. "Hey! What the hell was that for?!" I yelled. "What the hell is the meaning of this?!" she exclaimed, smacking me with the object again.

"Stop smacking me with it and maybe I could tell you!" She threw the item on my desk and I glanced at it. "The new calendar? What's wrong with it?" I asked, bewildered. "Why don't you open it and see?" she said, her tone scathing. I flinched, hating the way she was talking to me, but as soon as I opened the calendar, I understood. "Aw, fuck," I whispered.

"Care to explain?" Regina seethed, crossing her arms and scowling. "Um - I don't know, maybe I gave them the wrong flash drive or something?" "Why the hell wouldn't you label them?!" she snapped, tugging her hands through her hair in frustration. "Because I'm a fucking idiot," I replied, pulling her hands away from her hair and rubbing my thumbs over the backs of her palms.

"I'm sorry, babe. I'll fix it, ok? I promise." Regina sighed softly and replied, "You had better. Or - " "Or you'll destroy me?" I quipped, grinning a little. A wicked smirk spread across her face as she leaned close to me and purred, "Oh, I will destroy you, dear. How long your destruction lasts is entirely up to you."

I gulped audibly and she straightened, smoothing her skirt before fixing me with a stern look. "I suggest you start by getting back every copy of that calendar," she said, and I nodded fervently. "Right." Regina shook her head slightly before leaning down and brushing her lips over mine. "I love you, even though you're an idiot," she said softly.

I grinned and replied, "I'm your idiot, and I love you, too." I heard her chuckle lightly, then she brushed her lips over mine again before straightening once more. "I'll see you at home," she said, smoothing her skirt one more time before grabbing her purse and striding out of the office.

I sighed, tugging a hand through my hair. Man, I had really fucked up. I stood, shrugging on my jacket before grabbing my keys and heading out the door. I had work to do.


End file.
